


Words on a Page

by AwesomeMango7



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Arguing, Biting ;), But He makes Up For It, Cause Rick is always drinking, Cuddling, Ear biting???, GUYS I ACTUALLY WROTE SMUT FOR ONCE, I do not own sour patch kids but 10/10 would recommend, Invasion of Privacy, M/M, Morty has a diary, Morty is crushing hard on Rick, Morty is shy, Oh! And we can’t forget alcoholism, Rick is an Asshole, Rick is kind of a dick, Rick is really mean in this one but he gets better, Scars, Size difference (kind of), Smut, first they’re sour then they’re sweet, haha..., like he’s super mean, like those sour patch kids, little bit of self-hatered, well kind of sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:56:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwesomeMango7/pseuds/AwesomeMango7
Summary: Morty has been avoiding Rick for a month, and won’t tell him why. Eventually, Rick gets so frustrated that he decides to read Morty’s diary to figure it out himself. What he finds is unexpected, but not unpleasant.
Relationships: Rick Sanchez/Morty Smith
Comments: 36
Kudos: 355





	1. Frustrated

**Author's Note:**

> I’m alive! I’m sorry to all those who want more from Blaze (I promise I’ve been working on it). But I’ve been busy with school and other things. But I did manage to write this shorter story! Wow... I actually finished something for once. AND it has smut. Crazy, right? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! There will be three chapters for this.

Rick sat tinkering at his desk, trying to distract his mind as frustration seemed to radiate off him in waves of steadily rising anger. His movements were stiff as he fiddled with the wires and components sticking out of the mechanical box in front of him, but his mind kept wandering away from what he was doing with his hands. He was just too distracted.

He hissed as an electric shock shot up through one of his fingers, and he yanked his hand back and shook it for a moment. He cursed to himself before trying to put his attention back on his work. But his mind just couldn’t stay focused, and he ended up shocking himself twice more before he finally gave up and threw the damn machine carelessly onto his workbench for another time to fiddle with. 

He reached into his lab coat and pulled out his flask, quickly downing the remaining liquid left inside. He needed something to cool his nerves, something to calm down the boiling rage and frustration that was resting in the bottom of his stomach. 

He couldn’t even focus on his goddamn work. He rubbed at his temples, feeling the start of a headache pound behind his eyelids. He wanted to fucking shoot someone, he was so goddamn frustrated. Nothing made any sense anymore. 

Morty had been avoiding him for the past _month_. An entire month! 

The teen was good at it, too. Rick noticed that he’d been using tactics that _he_ fucking taught him, and it pissed him off. Morty was never in the same room as him, not unless there was someone else there, too. He was never home when Rick needed him to be, like after school, and he’d somehow convinced Beth to ask Rick to hold back on the adventures for a little while so Morty could focus on his school work.

Whenever he tried to burst into his room in the middle of the night for an adventure, Morty was quick to deny him repeatedly. Over and over and over again as he pretty much ushered Rick out of his room. He was so damn persistent about it as he shoved Rick and yelled at him, telling him _no_ over a million times. He did _not_ want to go on any adventures. 

He even acted like this when Rick took his sleep schedule into consideration and didn’t try grab him in the middle of the night. He just wouldn’t go on any adventures, no matter what he tried to do to convince him. 

And when they interacted at the dinner table each night, Rick was met with short answers and cold, empty stares whenever he tried to communicate with him. He also pointedly avoided sitting next to him, always waiting until Rick was seated first so he could sit far away, or he’d make sure he had two other people on ether side of him before Rick sat down. It was _annoying_.

Morty had never been so damn stubborn before. Rick had never seen him like this. And it was incredibly inhibiting to his work. Without Morty, he couldn’t go on adventures. Not without his brainwaves. And he didn’t have anyone to talk to or hand him tools while he worked in the garage. He didn’t have anyone’s company while he watched TV in the living room, and he didn’t have anyone to playfully banter with during mealtimes. 

He’d gotten used to Morty’s presence over the years, in many more ways than just one. Morty was his companion, for better or for worse. He was the one that fought by Rick’s side on adventures and played games with him at Blitz and Chitz. He was the person that he talked to the most, and his presence was a comfort that he’d come to value. 

It was hard for Rick to acknowledge that. He valued Morty for way more than just his brainwaves. He needed the kid to shield him, but he also _wanted_ him. Even if he didn’t need Morty, he felt like they’d gotten close enough for him to definitely want him around anyway. If he ever stopped needing his brainwaves, he’d still drag the kid around like he did now. 

Morty made his life easier and more fun. He was the stable ground in his life that made being alive somehow feel more worth it. They knew how to work with each other and it was incredibly enthralling for Rick. They _balanced_ each other. 

And he _thought_ Morty had felt the same. 

When they first started going on adventures together, Morty had been timid and scared. It was a normal response to suddenly figuring out how dark the universe really is, and Rick had expected it before he even arrived at the Smith Household. But as time went on and Morty started to get used to the darker things in life, Rick noticed how Morty started to enjoy the adventures just as much as he did. He started to understand that just because everything sucks, it didn’t mean you should let it drag you down. You make the best of what you have and just have whatever fun you can get. 

Over time, Morty had gotten more eager and exited, even initiating or leading some adventures of his own. He smiled and laughed with Rick, and fought along side him without a second thought. They joked around and Morty’s joyous laugher was something that Rick heard nearly _everyday_. He craved to hear that laughter again. It’d had been far too long since he’d even seen the kid smile. 

Morty seemed as if he liked the adventures and the time they shared together. But now Rick wasn’t too sure, since Morty had been avoiding him for a whole goddamn _month_. It was too fucking long.

Rick was getting antsy, all cooped up in the house. He was unable to leave Earth without Morty’s brainwaves, and he’d basically just been stuck here the entire time. He was getting sick of it— he couldn’t even focus on his work. He’d even forgotten the purpose of the machine he’d been working on just moments ago. Anti-gravity... something or another. He just couldn’t focus on remembering.

With a groan, Rick stood from his desk. This was it. He couldn’t just sit here anymore. He couldn’t waste away at his desk like this while making literally no progress at all. He was going to figure out what the hell was wrong with his grandson, even if it _killed_ him. 

He couldn’t even really understand why Morty was pulling away. The teen had been acting a little weird for about a week before he started avoiding him, but no matter how many times Rick went over their interactions in his head, he couldn’t pinpoint what had happened between them. He couldn’t figure out what made Morty want to avoid him so fucking badly.

Everything had been normal. They’d been going on adventures— ones that weren’t even that bad or fucked up. Rick was only the same amount of mean as he’d always been. He hadn’t acted different or felt different. It was Morty who started acting weird, so either Rick did something that he didn’t realize pissed Morty off, or Morty was just being fucking dramatic. 

He was leaning towards Morty being fucking dramatic because the kid really could be dramatic sometimes. But if it was something Rick did, he wanted to know what the fuck he did so he could shoot out a half-assed apology and be done with it. At this point, he just wanted his partner in crime back. 

He made his way up to Morty’s room, fuming slightly as he tried to calm himself down. If he wanted to have this conversation, he was going to have to calm down a little bit first. He was so angry, but being angry wouldn’t get Morty to tell him what was going on. 

He didn’t often have conversations like this with Morty, where he had to tare down his walls enough to let the kid see how genuine he really was. It was always so stressful for Rick to let someone see him in his most vulnerable state, but over the years he’d found himself showing Morty more and more of himself. Morty was the one person he could truly be himself around. The one person who he could let his guard down around. The one person who meant the world to him.

So it hurt that Morty, the one person he could be vulnerable with (even if his moments of vulnerability were few and far between), was taking drastic measures to avoid him. It had to stop, and soon. He was done waiting around for Morty to come to him. He’d sort it out himself, since it seemed like it was up to him now. 

Rick didn’t bother knocking. The kid would just tell him to go away if he knocked, so barging in seemed like the most likely course of action that would get him what he needed. 

The door hit the wall loudly, and Rick saw Morty flinch so hard that he nearly fell out of his chair as he whipped his head around to glare at Rick from across the room. He was sitting at his desk, pen in hand as he wrote in some sort of book. He seemed to take a moment to calm himself before he found his voice. 

“What the hell, Rick? Don’t you know how to knock?” Morty hissed, like he was trying to be mindful of the other people sleeping throughout the house. Rick doubted he’d keep quiet for long. He always ended up yelling when he wanted Rick to get out of his room. 

Rick closed the door behind him and began walking over to the teen. Morty turned back around in a mild panic and slammed the book he was writing in closed before Rick could see the contents inside of it. Closer up, Rick could see that it was a thick, worn down leather notebook that had pages and other strange things sticking out of it in uneven angles.

Rick eyed the book curiously. He’d never seen it before, but it looked well used and loved. Morty had to have put a lot of time into it. He’d probably had it for a while. Why had Rick never seen it before?

“Rick, what are you doing here? Get out.” Morty said as he angled himself to hide the leather book from Rick’s line of sight, resting his elbow on the desk in the most casual way that he could. “I keep telling you I-I-I don’t want to go on any adventures, and I’m busy anyway.”

“With what?” Rick challenged as he tried to peer over Morty and see the book. “W-w-what-what’s with that book you got there?”

Morty’s eyes widened for a moment, as if he were actually surprised that Rick had seen it. He quickly calmed his expression, but it was too late. Rick had already seen him panic. “Nothing. It’s just something for school.” He answered almost too evenly. He hesitantly pulled his elbow off the desk, giving up on hiding it now that Rick had seen it. 

Rick frowned. “Let me see.” He said, trying to reach past Morty and grab it.

“No!” Morty snapped, quickly grabbing the book and shoving it into the drawer of his desk rather roughly. Rick cringed slightly at the sound of crinkling papers as he closed the overflowing drawer.

“Why not?” Rick asked, lowering his hand as he leveled the teen with a suspicious glare. Whatever was going on with Morty, it had something to do with that book. He just knew it. “You got something to _hide_ , Morty?” The implication behind his words was clear. 

Morty’s face reddened slightly and he averted his eyes. He definitely had something to hide. Something he’d been hiding for a whole month. Maybe even more. Rick could see the fucking guilt on his face. “No, Rick. It’s just a school project. You wouldn’t want to see I-It anyway.”

Rick decided not to press anymore about the book. He’d get that book eventually, Morty just wouldn’t know it. His interest was piqued and there was nothing that could convince him to let it go. It had to have something to do with why he’d been avoiding him. And if Morty wouldn’t tell him, that book was his next best bet. 

“Can you leave, Rick?” Morty said, still refusing to look him. “I’m busy.”

“With _what?”_ Rick asked again, gesturing around the room. Morty had been writing in that book before Rick got here, and he highly doubted it was actually homework. And there was nothing else in the room that indicated he needed to work on anything. They both knew he was making excuses, and it irritated Rick that Morty was still keeping up with the whole charade. 

He could almost see how Morty’s body language almost indicated that maybe he didn’t really want Rick to leave. He seemed uncomfortable and upset, but he wasn’t tense like he was just waiting for the moment that Rick finally left. And he could see the subtle longing in the kids eyes, like he missed him, but wouldn’t admit it. It was the most frustrating thing about this.

“It’s just school stuff, Rick.” Morty said, voice small as he shrunk in on himself slightly. He seemed ashamed, but he wouldn’t let up. He was going to keep up on this very blatant lie, even if both of them knew it wasn’t working.

“I don’t see any fucking school work, Morty.”

Morty groaned and rested his elbows on his desk as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Just go away. I don’t want t-to go on an adventure right now.”

“Okay, first of all,” Rick began as he sat down on Morty’s bed. “You don’t _ever_ want to go on adventures anymore, Morty. We haven’t fUUGHcking been on one in over a _month_. Do you know how damn frustrating that is for me, Morty? I can’t do _anything_ outside of Earth.”

Morty didn’t answer. He just glared down at his desk.

“And second, I’m not here for an adventure, Morty. I’m here to fucking _talk_ to you.” Rick said. “You’ve been acting super fucking weird for a long time now, and it’s making my life a million times harder.”

Morty rolled his eyes and finally turned to Rick, his face stuck in the same frown he’d had the entire time he’s been avoiding Rick. “There’s n-nothing to talk about.”

“Then why have you been _avoiding_ me?” Rick glared at him. This was the first time he was actually calling the kid out on just exactly what he was doing. Morty had been bullshitting him for a month, and he was sick of it, so he wasn’t going to just side-step around the situation anymore, like he had been doing. 

Morty hesitated for a long moment and the silence stretched out between them uncomfortably. He opened his mouth to speak, but not a word come out. After a moment of even more silence, he closed his mouth again and looked down at the ground with a defeated expression. 

Rick forced his expression to soften. “Was it something I did?” He asked, trying to make his voice sound neutral. He didn’t want to sound angry, even though he was.

A flash of hurt crossed Morty’s face, but it was so subtle that Rick almost missed it. “No, Rick. Y-you didn’t do anything. I just... I want to focus on my work more.”

“You literally don’t have any work, M-Morty.” Rick pointed out again with a frustrated sigh as he gestured at Morty’s desk. It didn’t have any paper on it. Nothing was there that he could even _pretend_ to work on. “You’re a terrible liar, Morty. It—it’s like y-you’re not even fucking trying.”

Morty frowned deeper and turned away again. 

“If I haven’t fucking done anything, then what the hell is going on?” Rick demanded. 

“Nothing.”

“It’s clearly not fucking ‘nothing,’ Morty.” 

“Oh my god, Rick, just _get out of my room!”_ Morty suddenly yelled as he stood up from his desk, hands balled into tight fists. “I just want you to leave me a-alone, okay?! I need space! You’re— you’re just so _suffocating_ sometimes!”

Rick stood up and sneered down at Morty, speaking through clenched teeth. “If you wanted some fucking space, Morty, you should have just told me! B-but this is fucking ridUGHculous! You can’t even _l-look_ at me anymore! You can’t even stand to talk to me!”

“Maybe I just don’t want to _talk,_ Rick!” Morty growled up at him, gesturing a little dramatically with his hands. “I just— I want to be alone! What do you not get about that?!”

“You never wanted to be alone before!” Rick said, letting himself loom over Morty slightly in that way he knew made him a little uncomfortable. He could immediately see how Morty’s features tensed. “You were _happy!_ You liked the adventures! I fucking _know_ you did, but now you’re acting like none of it was fun!”

“Because it wasn’t!” Morty yelled back at him indignantly, face turning a deep shade of red as frustrated tears formed in the corners of his eyes. “None of it was fun! I never liked the adventures! I hated them, Rick! Nothing about them was good!”

Rick’s shoulders felt tense, and hurt uncomfortably filled his heart. He did not just fucking say that. “ _None_ of it, Morty? _Nothing_ was good?”

Morty was breathing heavily, eyes filled with guilt and pain as he stared up at Rick. He looked like he was desperately trying to cover his emotions with anger, but he was failing miserably. But he still kept up the charade. “I never— I don’t like going on adventures, Rick.” His voice got more strained with each word. “I-I hate them. I don’t want to go any them anymore. I’m done with them.”

“You’re a fucking liar.” Rick growled out, hating how his own heart ached at Morty’s words as he started walking closer. It was supposed to be Rick and Morty, a hundred years. They had a hundred years of adventuring to fill, and it hurt Rick to hear him say that he hated them, that he was done with them. “W-We’ve been through so much, Morty. How dare you fucking say that?”

“Get out.” Morty’s voice trembled slightly. 

“What about that night on Nebuln-4, Morty? Where we went camping and made fucking _s’mores_ by a damn campfire and then looked up at the fucking stars? We talked about bullshit for hours that night.” Morty was starting to back away from Rick, fear and hurt intermingled in his expression. “What about that time we saved that little girl from that spider monster and got her back to h-her family? Or—or all the times we went to Blitz and Chitz, Morty, or just went out for fucking _ice cream_ , Morty!” Rick was getting closer and closer with each word, anger and hurt warping in his voice. There were hundreds of other memories he could name that were great. “You _hated_ all of that, Morty? That’s what you’re fucking telling me? That none of that meant _anything_ to you?”

“GET. OUT.” Morty grabbed Rick by the lapels of if lab coat and started yanking him towards the door before he could get cornered back against the wall. 

Rick planted his feet into the ground, refusing to move. “Goddamn it, Morty! _Stop!”_ He yelled, grabbing the boys wrists and yanking them away from his lab coat. He pulled the boy forward so that they were nearly chest-to-chest. “You can’t just fucking say you hated everything!”

Morty struggled against him. “It’s the truth, Rick! Now just get out of my room!”

Rick glared down at him, and Morty stopped struggling so that he could glare back. The moment was intense, both unwilling to back down but wanting desperately to do so. Morty held his gaze like he never had before, and Rick could see a swirl of emotions inside of those green orbs. But he was still desperately trying to mask it all with anger.

Morty wasn’t going to tell him what the hell was going on. This entire conversation had been pointless. With a low, frustrated growl Rick finally looked away and shoved the boy away from him. “Whatever.” He said defeatedly. 

“Can you just get out now?” Morty said, crossing his arms over his chest uncomfortably. He was back to not looking at him. 

Rick felt his chest swelling with hurt, so he couldn’t help but want to make this as frustrating for the brunette as it was for him. So instead of moving or responding, he just glared at him. If Morty wanted him to leave, he was going to have to make him. And he didn’t care about how petty or childish it might make him seem. 

Morty clenched his fists at his sides in anger. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Rick didn’t say anything.

“Oh my fucking god! Just _get out!”_ Morty began shoving him, pushing him back towards the door. Rick could have easily held Morty back, but he let the kid shove him around. 

As soon as he was out, the teen slammed the door closed in his face. Rick stared at the door for a long moment, wishing he could burn holes into it with eyes. He hated this so fucking much. He didn’t understand why the kid couldn’t just fucking _talk_ to him. 

“Wow,” a voice said, and Rick turned to see Summer leaning against the doorway of her own room. All the yelling must have woken her up, but she didn’t seem to mind. She seemed smug, in fact. “Tough break, grandpa Rick. What’d you do this time?”

“Shut up, Summer.” Rick grumbled. He turned away and began making his way back down to the garage as Summer snickered behind him. 

Morty wasn’t going to tell him what was wrong, so it looked like Rick was just going to have to figure it out himself.

Starting with that damn book.


	2. Privacy is G O N E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick reads Morty’s deepest most darkest thoughts and totally invades like all of his privacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh so the bits where we get to see what’s in Morty’s “diary” are underlined... I was kind hoping it would make it look kind of like it was written on lined paper or something. I hope it’s not annoying.

Rick was hungover. He drank a lot last night in an attempt to numb the pain Morty had caused him with his stupid fucking words. Even if he knew that, deep down, Morty didn’t _really_ mean it, it still hurt him. A lot.

Many Ricks made fun of him for being the ‘Emotional Rick.’ He guessed he kind of was more emotional than other Ricks, but it wasn’t by a whole lot. He was still an asshole and he was still pretty much indifferent to mostly everything, but he got hurt by things just a little bit easier, and he got excited about certain things that most Ricks just didn’t. So, other Ricks poked fun at him for it.

Not that he really cared, but it was at moments like these that he really wished he didn’t get as emotionally wounded as he did last night. He’d really hit it hard with the alcohol after that and he woke up on the floor of his room with several bottles laying around him. He hadn’t even made it to his cot before he passed out last night.

He groaned as he got up from the floor and stumbled halfheartedly into the garage to find something to fix his hangover. He couldn’t remember where he put his hangover-cure kit, so he just settled for refilling his flask and downing a few mouthfuls to stave off the headache. It wouldn’t help much, but if he got himself just a little bit buzzed, he could tolerate the hangover. I’d be gone by the afternoon anyway, he was good at recovering from shit like this. He had years of experience.

Satisfied with his freshly topped-off flask, he shoved it back into his pocket and made his way to the dining room. The family was still in the process of waking up and getting ready for the day, so Rick just sat at the table for a while and waited for the others to join him. It was only about fifteen minutes later that everyone had finally gotten to the table and Beth had finished making breakfast.

It was eggs and bacon, and Rick was quick to scoop some into his mouth and groan as he complimented his daughter’s impressive cooking. He could never get enough of her cooking, honestly. He did _not_ miss the years he spent poking a the questionable (and hardly digestible) foods he’d had to deal with during his time spent in space.

Morty was silent the entire duration of breakfast, but Rick payed him no mind. He was still mad about last night so he wasn’t even going to try this morning like he had been every morning before this. And besides, it’s not like they’d get anywhere anyway. Morty wouldn’t budge.

Rick was going to get that book he’d seen him writing in yesterday. This meant he didn’t have to even interact with Morty to figure out what was wrong anyway. The interacting part would come later, once he finally knew what his damn problem was. And he was definitely planning on confronting Morty if the kid didn’t decide to confront him first, once he realized the book was missing.

Summer and Beth talked a little about school, and Rick tuned in and out of the conversation, not really caring about the topic all that much. Jerry tried to talk about some of his iPad games, but nobody really cared about that, so he was promptly ignored. Rick was unashamed when he laughed a few times at how pathetic the man was.

It was a pretty standard breakfast, if you didn’t include how Rick and Morty didn’t even make eye contact _once._ It was like they didn’t even exist to each other.

Pretty soon, Summer and Morty were heading off to school and Beth was off to work. Jerry went off to do... whatever the fuck he does (and who really cared, anyway?). And Rick was left alone sitting at the dining room table.

He sat for a few minutes, making sure that Morty and Summer didn’t return for any forgotten necessities before he made his way upstairs to Morty’s room to find the book. He checked the desk drawer first, but it wasn’t there.

Rick frowned as he searched through all of the abandoned school papers inside the desk. Morty must have moved it. He was going to find that damn book. One way or another, he was going to get his hands on it.

He checked through every drawer the desk had twice before moving on. He checked under the bed and the mattress. He checked the space between the wall and the bed, underneath the blankets and the pillows. He checked in the closet and inside all of the boxes that were in it. He checked the bookcase, making sure to check every book that looked a little leathery, but none of them were it.

He was looking at the bottom shelf of the bookcase when his eyes landed on a screwdriver. Rick quirked a brow, confused. It was one of Jerry’s screwdrivers, and not one of his. Morty’s been avoiding him, so it made sense that he’d get a screw diver from his dad instead. But why would he keep it with him in his room? Morty was generally pretty good at returning things that he borrowed, so it wasn’t like him to just keep something so random.

Rick grabbed the screwdriver and looked around Morty’s room some more. There was really nothing he could use the screwdriver on that he could see. But then he got an idea and he looked up. The AC vent looked slightly crooked. Rick’s eyes widened. Morty was damn determined to keep this secret from him if he was going to such extreme lengths to hide that book.

He kicked off his shoes before climbing onto Morty’s bed so he could reach up and unscrew the vent. Once he got it free, he placed all the parts on Morty’s desk before reaching up into the vent and feeling around. He grimaced at the dust that he could feel coating his fingers as he searched.

His fingers brushed against something leathery and he immediately grabbed ahold of it and pulled out. “Fucking _finally!”_ He cheered as he brushed the collected dust off of the worn cover. He was gonna get some damn answers now.

Rick took the time to screw the vent back onto the ceiling (more even this time, and not crooked like how Morty had done it) before he put his shoes back on and went back down to the garage. He sat down in his chair in front of his workbench and placed the book down in front of him. For a moment, he just stared at it. What if it was like a diary or something?

Morty didn’t seem like the type of kid to keep a diary, but everyone has their secrets. He’s pretty sure _he_ even had a diary at some point when he was younger, but it was probably pretty short lived or he would have remembered it. But he could definitely imagine his teenage self being all full of angst as he ranted angrily in some journal.

If it was a diary, then it would tell him why Morty was avoiding him. And that was enough to convince Rick that this total invasion of privacy was completely justified.

Okay, maybe not _justified_ , but did Rick really care at this point? No. He deserved some goddamn answers.

Morty would get over it anyway.

Rick sighed was he opened the book to the first page. He immediately recognized that this was definitely Morty’s handwriting, and his fingers traced lightly over a few of the words. The way he looped the Y’s was always kind of girly, in Rick’s opinion, and sometimes a few letters would connect together like it was almost cursive, but not quite. At least it was legible, unlike his own handwriting, which was literal garbage.

The date was written in the top right corner, and it was set to about a year ago. On the first line the words, _‘Dear Diary,’_ were written out, but it had scribbles overlapping it like Morty had immediately cringed after writing it and tried to get rid of it. And he wrote in pen so it was impossible for him to erase any errors.

The next line down he wrote more. All the way to the bottom of the page.

_ ‘So my therapist told me it might be a good idea to get a journal to write down my feelings about things. I feel stupid writing in here, but she told me to give it a chance.’ _

Rick’s eyes widened. He didn’t even know Morty _had_ a therapist. This was dated to about a year ago, so he might not even still have a therapist. But he never even knew Morty had one at all.

_ ‘She said it would help me let out my frustrations in a heathy way, and that it was a better coping mechanism than some of the other self-destructive things I’ve been doing lately. Like scratching at my arms, or trying to sneak alcohol from mom’s wine cabinet.’ _

Rick remembered the nervous tick Morty used to have with scratching his arms, but that had stopped months ago. Rick had made sure of it. He’d talked to Morty about it, and they worked through some things. It slowly disappeared over the months. But he also never knew about Morty stealing alcohol... there were going to be a lot of things in here that he would learn about Morty.

Just how much did Morty not tell him?

_ ‘I don’t really see how this is supposed to help me. Do I just write about my day? Or do I pour out my emotions until I’m sitting here crying in my room all by myself? Because that’s what’ll happen if I write everything I’m feeling all the time. I guess I’ll write next time I’m feeling bad or something.’ _

And that was the end of the first page. Rick quickly turned to the next one. The date was set to three days later, and it had far less written on it than the first page.

_ ‘Rick and I went to a planet in the Adrogiona System today. I can’t remember what the planet is called (it was something really fucking weird. I couldn’t even pronounce it), but we had a lot of fun on it. We made a deal with this one guy name Jexi or something and Rick got some materials he needed for one of his inventions. The deal went really smooth and quick so we just stayed for a little while longer and looked around. The sky was really pretty and I took a picture.’ _

Below that, there was a printed out picture of an orange sky with rainbow-colored clouds. The sun was a bright red circle in the corner that caused a little bit of a glare in the picture. Rick recognized it as the planet Ûriëlk. He smiled fondly as he recalled the memory.

The next page was more personal. It talked about how Beth and Jerry got into another one of their fights. He complained that it was at the breakfast table, and he was tired after a long night adventuring with Rick, and he was getting a headache from all the screaming. He said that it made him sad that they fought so much, and he wondered if it would be better for them to get a divorce or somehow work it out.

As Rick continued on reading through each page, he realized that Morty slowly became more personal as the journal went on. He started out seeming hesitant about what he was saying, but after a handful of pages he started to pour his heart out in earnest. He felt a little guilty as he read through Morty’s deepest most personal thoughts, but he couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to. He was sucked in, like he was reading an interesting novel, even if that wasn’t even close to what was happening.

He knew the kid really well, but it was entirely different to read the world from his eyes. The way he saw things was so vastly different from how Rick saw it, even as he saw parts of himself that Morty had been influenced by bleed through the words. It was strange and endearing to read Morty’s fresh perspective of the world, compared to his own, which was old and set in its ways.

Morty felt more than Rick did, he was amazed and enchanted by so many things that Rick had either forgotten or grown bored of. It was like he was inside of Morty’s mind, feeling everything that he described as if they were his own thoughts and emotions. 

The kid talked about him a lot in the book, too. Much of it was praise for the man and the adventures they went on, and there were a lot of pictures and selfies of the two of them. There were a few shots of Rick that he’d never even been aware Morty took, and sometimes there were pictures of the sky on other planets, or just pictures of stars. 

Morty was really random about some of the things he wrote about. One day he wrote, _‘Smigglenors are really strange. Rick showed me one a week ago, and they’re these small, cube-like creatures that look kind of like the slime monsters from Minecraft...’_ And then he went on to explain every word of knowledge Rick had relayed to him the day he showed him what a Smigglenor was. He was surprised Morty remembered all of it. 

But on the next page, he talked about how the sand on the planet Ÿuriquek felt between his toes when they stayed there one night for an adventure. Morty never seemed to care particularly much about what he wrote about, and sometimes he trailed off or didn’t finish stories. He didn’t seem to really worry if some things didn’t make sense, just as long as he was able to say what he wanted. 

Morty talked highly of Rick in a lot of his entries, but there were also ones where he ranted about how much of an asshole he was. These were actually Rick’s personal favorites, in all honesty.

One particular page read, _‘God, Rick can be such a fucking asshole sometimes! I just want to punch him in the face. It’s not my fault the damn Harpy found me and ate the rejuvenator! It’s not like I was shouting or anything and telling it come over and attack me! Like geez, lay off! I wish I could tell him to fuck off, but he always gets so pissy when I do that so I try not to. It just makes us argue more, and we literally argued about the rejuvenator all fucking day.’_

Those rants made him snicker a bit. He found it amusing to read about past arguments that they’d had, most of which he’d forgotten or was too drunk to remember in the first place. Rick always loved to rile Morty up. 

There were dark pages, too, where there were tear stains on the pages as he described some of their bad adventures. Ones where Rick wasn’t in control, where they both nearly died horrible deaths or lost someone they cared for. Rick felt bad as he read some of them and traced his fingers over the tear marks, relating with the pain and the leftover fear those experiences had left inside of both of them. Some of the words were smeared from the tears he’d cried over the book, and his handwriting seemed almost sloppy, as if he shook while writing it. 

It made Rick want to find Morty and hug him, as he rarely did, and tell him that it was okay. That he understood his pain and wouldn’t let him suffer alone. 

Morty carried a lot of guilt about killing people— Rick learned things that he’d never known, like how Morty had to kill that sentient gas creature so it wouldn’t destroy all carbon-based life, even after all that trouble they went through to save it. Morty carried a lot of guilt for things like that— situation were many people died or got hurt, or where people’s lives were ruined by simple mistakes that they’d made. 

Sometimes he came across folded up notebook papers that looked like they’d been ripped out of other notebooks and shoved almost carelessly into this one. They were mostly rants about school and bullies, so he probably didn’t ever take the book out of his room. Probably out of fear that someone else would find it, and he could understand why. This book was just so personal. He could imagine Morty getting angry at school and ranting about it on a piece of paper so he could bring it home and put it in this book. 

There were other pages that Morty just ranted about whatever, sometimes going on and on about the politics on this planets, or the injustice in the world. Or how stupid the Galactic Federation was, or about how crazy it was to go to the Citadel and see all the other Ricks and Mortys. He talked a lot about other Ricks and Mortys.

_ ‘It’s always so weird on the citadel. It’s like I’m constantly looking in a mirror, except sometimes it’s more like a funhouse mirror. Most Mortys (still getting used to the fact that we all have the same name) are the same, but sometimes there’s something different. Just yesterday I saw a Morty with wings! And there was one with antenna, and there was a Morty that was super tall! I also feel like I’m going to lose Rick all the time because there are so many Ricks around, too, but even when I do lose him, Rick can always somehow pick me out in a crowd of Mortys. I think he has a tracker or something, but I always have to make sure that he’s actually my Rick so that there’s no mixup. The citadel is just so weird!’ _

Sometimes he talked about how life was meaningless and that meant everyone should just chill the fuck out.

_ ‘Why worry? It’s not like it matters anyway. Why can’t we all just... relax? Why do people have to freak out over every little thing? Nobody asked to be born. Nobody really belongs anywhere. Nothing means anything. We’re all going to die one day. So why worry? Why not just live and not give a damn about the little things? Or maybe we should pay more attention to other little things, I don’t know. But who cares if so and so did this, or so and so said this, when really, all that matters is right here and now and what we’re doing. Sometimes I think it would be easier if everyone could just live in the moment. Like damn, just watch some TV instead of stressing over pointless shit. Relax.’ _

But sometimes he also felt completely different about how everything was meaningless.

_‘_ _Sometimes I just don’t want to get out of bed.’ _Morty wrote on one page. _‘ I just want to sleep. I just want to close my eyes, and just not wake up. Like I want to be in a coma or something, or I just want to stop thinking. I try to think about how if I died, mom would be upset but tbh sometimes I just don’t even care... I’m just tried and want to sleep forever. What is really the point of going on if nothing means anything? Why should I have to get out of bed and go downstairs or to school if it doesn’t mean anything anyway? What am I even living for? I’m just tired. I want to sleep.’_

Most of it seemed like pretty normal Morty stuff. Things that he actually expected that the kid would write about. But as the months went on, Morty started... analyzing things about Rick. Stuff that Rick would have never known that Morty noticed, but apparently had. And some things that he’d never realized Morty had thought about him. _Feelings_ that he’d never realized Morty would ever have for him.

_ ‘Today Rick was kind of sad, and it really worried me. We went on an adventure, and for a while I thought it was just a normal day, but Rick kept losing focus and he wasn’t good at keeping up with any conversations. He was just spacing out a lot today. He was trying to act normal, but his smile was kind of strained sometimes and his laugh seemed kind of forced. The wrinkles around his eyes seemed more prominent, too. I knew he’d react badly if I tried to ask him what was wrong, so I didn’t. I tried to be a little nicer to him, though. I tried to distract him a lot by pointing out cool things as we walked and I tried to make some jokes. Some of them didn’t land right, and he sort of just looked at me like I was stupid, but I think by the end of the day he started to feel better. By the time we got back in the ship to go home, he was ranting about this new project he was working on, and his smile seemed a little less fake. I hope I helped him in some way. I’m happier when Rick is happy, too.’ _

__

_ ‘Sometimes Rick stares at mom. He looks at her, and his eyes just go a little unfocused when the conversation is kind of slow. I always want to ask him what he’s thinking about, but I can never bring myself to do it. Is he thinking about when mom was a kid? Or is he thinking about how she is as an adult? Is he proud of her? Is he disappointed? Does he not care? I can never tell. Most of the time Rick has some kind of tell that let’s me know what he’s feeling— Rick can be so open around me sometimes. But when he stares at mom, he’s just... blank.’ _

__

_ ‘Rick has a lot of scars. It’s not often that I see Rick naked— god, I sound like a perv. But I promise I’m not. I promise. But whenever I do see him naked (and I do see him naked sometimes because adventures can just get that weird sometimes), I always notice the scars that are on his body. Some of them I remember him getting, like this one scar that he has from a laser bullet on his stomach, and a few on his arms from when he either pulled me out of the way of something or shielded his face from a projectile hurtling towards him. He got shot once right over his liver when we went to a planet that had an annual purge, and the scar is still there for that, too... But I don’t really want to talk about that night. It wasn’t fun. But Rick also has other scars. There’s one that stretches from his shoulder, all the way down to the inside of his elbow. And another one that he has on his left leg that looks like it was a burn wound of some sort. And I’ve always been really curious about the one that’s right in the middle of his sternum. It’s barely noticeable. It took seeing him like that several times for me to even catch that it was there, but it is. I almost reached out and touched that scar today... we were standing so close, and our clothes were destroyed, and... what is wrong with me? I wanted so badly to just... touch him. I wanted to run my hands over his scars and ask him how he got them, and my heart was pounding so hard that it hurt. What’s wrong with me?’ _

That one was a little unsettling to Rick, and it caused him a whole lot of confusion. Up until now, Morty’s thoughts and stories about him had been pretty innocent. He kept on reading.

_ ‘I think Rick’s funny when he’s drunk sometimes. But he’s also kind of scary. One time he came into my room and held a knife against my throat and demanded I answer whether or not I was a simulation. But other times, he’s such a lush. He’s affectionate, too. Sometimes he comes into my room in the middle of the night and passes out on my bed. Before that, though, he rants about how I’m a good kid and that he cares about me as he pats me on the head. He also likes to ran a lot about Iran, and stupid movie troupes or something but I think it’s funny. He just goes on and on about these weird things that just don’t makes sense. But I always think it’s nice to hear Rick rant like that, especially when he praises me. I feel almost guilty when he does, because he’d never say these things sober, so I feel like I’m hearing him say things that I’m not supposed to. It always makes my heart flutter wildly, and I hope it never stops. When he eventually passes out, I always want to stay in my bed with him just to be close, but I always somehow manage to pull myself out from under him and go sleep on the couch downstairs. It makes my heart ache, but I know that I have to do that. I feel like Rick would get mad at me, or he wouldn’t be able to look at me if he woke up to us cuddling or some shit.’ _

There were a lot of entries like this, where he talked about observations he had about Rick or how he felt about something Rick did, or something about their dynamic or how he wanted something more out of their relationship. He talked a lot about how he wanted to physically touch Rick, but he was quick to scold himself for being weird. There was a lot of shame hidden between his words, denial lingering on the pages.

There were a lot of other things intermingled between the pages that he talked solely about Rick, but he always, _always_ came back to it every time. And eventually Rick started to gain some suspicions about how Morty really felt about him. He talked like... like he was _in love_ with him or something, but Morty just didn’t seem to realize it yet.

His suspicions were confirmed when he found one page that was dated two months ago from right now.

_ ‘There’s something’s wrong with me. Like, really really wrong with me. I had a dream last night, and it makes me nauseous just thinking about it. Me and Rick... did something. In that dream. It was so good while I was dreaming... I’ve never had a dream that good before, but that just makes it so much worse. The dream started out like we were on an adventure or something, but like... then Rick was kissing me. At first, I was really weirded out because it wasn’t normal and I couldn’t understand what was going on. I tried to ask Rick what the heck he was doing, but then... I just stop caring. And then somehow we ended up in the back seats, and we’ _

The entry stopped after that. The rest of the page was blank. Rick flipped to the next page. The date was a week later. Morty had never skipped that many days before writing another entry.

_ ‘I think I’m in love with him. Every time I see him, I get that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I never thought that was a real thing, and that people just said that when they liked someone. But it’s very real, and it’s terrible. When he talks to me... his voice is all I can think about. His deep, and rough, and I could listened to it for hours, and’ _

Morty skipped a line.

_ ‘What’s wrong with me? Rick is my grandpa... I shouldn’t feel this way. It’s wrong. I need to think about something else. Entertaining these thoughts is not something I need to be doing.’ _

Rick skipped to the next page. It was dated to the same day, but it specified that it was about three in the morning that he was writing this next entry. The page was dotted with tears and smudged ink.

_ ‘I had another dream about Rick. I... I came in my sleep. I’ve never done that before. I can’t believe this is happening. Why do I feel this way? Why is this happening to me? I feel disgusting. Like I need to cleanse my fucking soul or something. I took a shower and threw my blankets in the washer, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I can never tell Rick about this. There are some things I don’t tell him, but would tell him if he asked. But this is something that I really can never tell him. Never. It would ruin everything. He’d probably be disgusted. He’d probably hate me.’ _

Rick had to take a break from reading the page. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose. How could Morty think he’d hate him? He could never hate Morty. Rick had tried to hate him a few times, but he just couldn’t. It was impossible. He’d have to reassure Morty of that. He let his eyes open again and continued reading.

_ ‘And even if he didn’t hate me, things would be so weird. I don’t think I could live with myself if Rick knew about this. Things would get awkward, and everything would hurt because I don’t think these feelings are going away anytime soon, and I highly doubt Rick would ever return them. I don’t even know if I could accept it if Rick did return them... I’m just so ashamed of myself. Rick is my grandpa.’ _

The next couple weeks were about how Morty found himself starting to get more and more flustered and nervous around Rick. About how he couldn’t stop thinking about him, about how everything Rick did had his full attention. He went on several rants about how Rick made him feel like he was lighter than air, or something equally cheesy or cute. Rick found a lot of Morty’s ramblings about him cute. Especially one particular page were Morty wrote several long paragraphs about how badly he wanted to kiss him.

But after a while, the rants started to get darker. About how he hated himself for being like this, for romanticizing their relationship and making things weird. He started to talk about how even Rick was starting to realize how weird he was acting— and he was right, Rick _had_ noticed that about a week before he started avoiding him, he’d started acting weird.

_ ‘I’ve been acting too weird. Rick’s starting to notice. He keeps giving me weird looks, like he’s silently trying to ask me what’s wrong. But I know I can’t tell him, and I can’t help but be so weird when all I want to do his cuddle with him in the ship and kiss him. God, I’m so disgusting...’ _

And then came the page where Morty decided that he needed to avoid Rick. It was dated to one month ago.

_ ‘I think I need to stay away from Rick for a while. Maybe some distance would do me good... maybe it’ll help me eradicate these feelings I have for him. It’s going to hurt so much... I really do love him so much that my heart aches. But I don’t know how much more of this I can handle before I slip up and confess or just kiss him out of nowhere. But maybe if I just stay away from him for a while... I can get my shit together. Rick’s not going to take it well, I just know he won’t. And I won’t take it well either, but no one can know that. Nobody can know how I feel about Rick, and they can’t know why I’m avoiding him. Rick **especially** can never know.’ _

Every page after that was filled with how Rick was reacting to Morty avoiding him. A lot of the pages were stained with tears.

_ ‘Today was the first day I rejected going on an adventure. Rick was pissed, but I don’t think he realizes yet that this is it. He’s only going to get angrier.’ _

__

_ ‘Rick’s been really passive aggressive to me at the table when we eat since I started avoiding him... it makes me feel guilty...’ _

__

_ ‘I have to tell him no a million times whenever he tries to take me on an adventure, and after a while he always just storming out of the room in anger...’ _

__

_ ‘I’ve started using tactics that me and Rick sometimes use to escape from things in space. It’s really effective, but I can tell Rick is getting madder at me as the days go by...’ _

__

_ ‘I miss Rick so much... it hurts to see him every day, and not be able to talk to him. It hurts whenever he gets mad at me for avoiding him, and I hate when I have to make excuses for why I can’t go anywhere with him. I’m thinking about asking mom to ask him to stop the adventures for a while so he doesn’t ask...’ _

__

_ ‘I can’t stop dreaming about him. It’s constant, every night. It’s not even sex dreams anymore, he usually just holds me close and tells me he loves me... but then I wake up and I have to remind myself that it’s not real and that I have to stay away from him...’ _

Rick eventually made it to one of the last pages Morty had written in. It was dated to yesterday.

_ ‘I think I’ve finally made a little progress with Rick. Only when it comes to avoiding him, though. Not with how I feel. I still dream about him and think about him constantly, but he hasn’t bothered to ask me on any adventures for the past few days. That’s a good thing, right? It means that I can finally try to make some real progress. If Rick’s avoiding me as much as I’m avoiding him, I can finally try to... I don’t know, focus my emotions on something else? It still hurts so much to push myself away. But I have to do this. I have to do this because I’d rather Rick hate me for this than hate me for how disgusting I am. And maybe once I get rid of these feelings, I can even reconnect with R—/—-‘ _

The word was cut off by a jerky line, like something had slammed into Morty’s hand while he was trying to write and pushed the pen across the paper. Rick realized that this was probably when he’d startled him by barging into his room.

A line down, Morty started writing again.

_ ‘I was wrong. I haven’t made any progress... and now I’ve really ruined things. Rick just barged into my room. He was really upset. He tried to ask me why I’ve been avoiding him, but I just couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t. He asked if he’d done something, and I felt so guilty... because none of this is his fault, it’s all mine. And I couldn’t even tell him. And then we started arguing, and I yelled at him and told him I hated all of our adventures... I could see how much that hurt him, and I hate myself for what I said because it wasn’t true at all. I could see it in his eyes... how upset and hurt he look, like I had just betrayed him. I basically said that every moment shared between us had meant nothing, like I never cared for him at all. But in reality, Rick is my entire world... I care about him so much that it hurts and I was so close to breaking down in front of him today and telling him everything. I had to shove him out of my room... nothing feels right anymore. I just want to hold him and kiss him, but I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I hate that I’m hurting him and I don’t know if this is a good idea anymore, but I don’t know what else to do anymore so I just have to keep doing this. I hated it, but I have to. Rick can never find out.’ _

Rick flipped to the next page, just to be sure that that was the last one. It was. He sighed and closed the book. He needed to have a nice, long talk with Morty about this. Morty was definitely being dramatic. He didn’t need to freak out over a stupid crush.

He leaned back in his chair and turned his head to the side to pop his neck. His back was sore from being hunched over his workbench for so long. How long had he been reading? He pulled back the sleeve of his lab coat to see his watch and he read the time. He’d been reading for about seven hours. Jesus Christ, did he really just read a whole year’s worth of Morty writing in a fucking diary?

It was just in time for Morty to get home, too. The kid should realize his book is missing any moment now.

Rick suddenly heard a very Morty-liked screech from somewhere in the house, and feet were quickly tumbling down the stairs as fast as they could physically go. And as expected, Morty suddenly burst through the garage door in a panic, eyes wide and filled with fear.

His eyes met with Rick’s, and his fear quick became mixed with betrayal and anger when he noticed that the book was just sitting in Rick’s workbench.

“RICK! GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! That’s another chapter out! Only more more after this, and things get a little spicy ;)


	3. I’ll Be Yours If You’ll Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick teases Morty for a bit before getting serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! There’s smut in this chapter! 
> 
> O////O 
> 
> I’ve never posted smut on here, I don’t think, and I’d appreciate any criticisms you have! I’ve struggled to write it for so long, and I’ve been too shy to post any of my attempts at writing it until now. Hopefully it worked out alright! 
> 
> Anyway, you guys have been so kind and supportive of this fic! All of your comments make my day! Thank you so much! <33

_“RICK! GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL!”_

__

__

Rick couldn’t help the tiny smirk that made its way into his face. What he was about to do was really mean, but he’d definitely compensate for it by a damn landslide. Morty had been pissing him off for over a month because of something so damn ridiculous, so he might as well have a little fun before things got serious. 

He’d make up for it. He really, really would. He was certain Morty wouldn’t forgive him for reading his journal for a while, but he’d find a way to make up for it. Whatever Morty wanted. But for right now, he was going to get some of his frustration out by teasing him. 

He _did_ always love to tease the boy. 

He stood from his chair and grabbed the leather journal, looking it over in his hands like he wasn’t sure what it was. “Hm, you mean _this_ journal, Morty?” He pointed at the book, one eyebrow raised as he looked at the boy from across the room. 

He could see Morty start to sweat.

“Let me just read a page or two and make sure it’s yours.” Rick chided, opening the book to a random page as another smirk made its way to his face. “It might be one of my science journals, so I just have to be sure.”

“RICK! STOP!” Morty yelled, finally lurching into action as he ran at Rick in a frantic attempt to stop him from reading it. If only he knew Rick had already read every word. 

Rick quickly raised the book high above his head where Morty couldn’t reach, and the teen jumped for it, but he was too short to even come close. It was moments like these that Rick was greatly appreciative of the height difference between them. “Whoa, Morty, what’s the rush? I just gotta make sure it’s yours first. Wouldn’t want you to accidentally read some fucked up s-shit about science.”

“Rick, this isn’t funny!” Morty yelled, still trying to jump up and grab it as he stayed up on his toes. He kept tugging on Rick’s arms, trying to pull them down to his level. But whenever he finally managed to tug it down, Rick would switch it to his other hand. Morty growled in frustration, clearly distressed with the entire situation. “Just give it back, you asshole! I’m _serious!”_

“Geez, Morty, _calm down.”_ Rick said keeping the book open as he held it above his head and looked up at it, as if he could actually read it like this. 

“RICK STOP!” Morty screamed frantically, fingers tightening around Rick’s bicep as he continued to try and jump for the journal uselessly. Small tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. “GIVE IT BACK, YOU ASSHOLE! RIGHT NOW! I WANT IT BACK RIGHT NOW! I’M NOT ASKING! RICK, PLEASE! JUST GIVE IT BACK!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Rick noticed the machine he’d been working on yesterday before he got frustrated and gave up. He suddenly remembered what it was supposed to do. He grinned before using other arm to push Morty back, his hand covering the teen’s entire face. 

“Ri—!” Morty’s voice was muffled by Rick’s hand as he clawed at it, trying to peel it away from his face while trying to reach his legs far enough to kick him. But he was still too short. He looked like a child in one of those cliché scenes trying to get something back from and older sibling, and the only thing holding them back was an outstretched arm. 

Rick placed the book down on the machine and pressed a few buttons, and before he knew it, the book started to float. He released Morty and quickly grabbed the journal. He threw it up to the ceiling where it suck there, floating where Morty couldn’t reach it. The machine had made the book lighter than air, so it stayed up there. It would be fine as long as the sliding garage door stayed closed. 

“What the hell, Rick...” Morty stopped struggling against him and turned to stare up at the ceiling, a place of which he’d never be able to reach the book, even if he had a platform to stand on. All Rick had to do was stand on the workbench and he’d be able to grab it, but Morty would be hopeless if he tried. He seemed to deflate slightly as he looked up at it, knowing fully well there was no way he’d get it back unless Rick grabbed it for him. He didn’t even say anything, like he already knew how useless it would be to protest at this point. 

Rick sighed and strode past the deflated brunette and towards the door that Morty had left wide open. He watched Morty as he closed the door and locked it. The click was loud, and echoed through the garage as Rick narrowed his eyes at him. Morty averted his attention from the book to look back at Rick, and he had that look on his face he always got right before he was going to cry. If Rick didn’t get that fixed soon, he’d be consoling the kid for even longer tonight than he already was going to.

He began walking towards Morty purposefully, and the teen flinched away like he expected Rick to hit him. After that, each step Rick took towards him, Morty took one step away, which is exactly what Rick wanted. The teen only broke eye contact long enough to acknowledge when his back hit the workbench, and he hissed in pain. By the time he turned back around, Rick had already caged him in. He placed his hands on either side of Morty on the workbench and he leaned in close. So close that they could feel the heat radiating off of each other. 

Morty shrank back as far as the workbench would allow him without hurting his back or pressing any part of his body against Rick. He was breathing heavily, and he could see how Morty’s eyes went slightly unfocused a couple times as he tried to figure out what part of Rick’s body to look at. His cheeks dusted a light pink color, and any doubt that Rick might have had about how the teen felt about him vanished from his mind. 

How had Rick not noticed how much Morty had been pining for him? It’s not like they hadn’t been in close proximity like this before. Maybe Rick just hadn’t been looking for the signs at the time. But regardless, he was glad that he knew now. And it was time that Morty knew that as well. 

“I already read it, Morty.” Rick said quietly, keeping his voice level and calm. This was going to be the tricky part about this, and he didn’t want to upset the teen too much. “Figured out some pretty interesting things.”

Morty looked away shamefully, and he could see how badly he was trying to hold back his tears. His bottom lip began to tremble as he spoke. “Then why— why did you...” He turned his head even further, and Rick could tell how much he wanted to escape. “How could you read it, Rick? It-it... couldn’t you see it was _private?”_

Rick felt a guilty, hearing the hurt in Morty’s voice. He almost regretted reading the journal. _Almost_. But... if he never read it, he’d never have figure out what Morty’s problem was. And they’d probably still be avoiding each other right now. Who knows how damaged their relationship would have turned out if Morty continued to keep this secret and avoid him. 

He’d make up for what he did. He’d make sure that Morty forgave him, and he’d make sure that he deserved to be forgiven. And he’d make sure Morty stopped hurting over his own emotions. There was nothing Morty should be ashamed of— at least, not in Rick’s opinion. People can’t control how they feel about things. They can control their actions, but never their feelings. And if Rick reciprocated Morty’s feelings, and if both of them were happy, then why not go for it?

“Morty, look at me.” Rick said. 

“Just say it, Rick. I-I already— I know what you’re going to say.” Morty’s voice was barely a whisper, and he refused to look at him. “Just r-rip it off. Like a band-Aid.”

Rick frowned. Morty was really going to be complicated about this, wasn’t he?

In a spur of the moment decision, Rick reached down and grabbed Morty’s ass. The brunette gasped, finally turning to look at Rick with utter shock written on his face. Rick quickly lifted him up onto the workbench, and Morty reflexively grabbed Rick’s shoulders to stop himself from falling. Rick pushed Morty’s knees apart so he could go between them and rested his hands on Morty’s hips, holding him there so he couldn’t squirm away from the edge.

Morty was staring up at him with wide, confused eyes now, hands trembling on his shoulders. He looked uncertain, like he didn’t trust that this was really happening right now. Rick could understand why he thought that, considering how long he’d been brainwashing himself to think that Rick could never return any of his feelings.

He knew Morty was smart enough to know what was happening, but it’d be a struggle to get through his doubt. He’d read so much of it in that book— how he thought Rick would react to this, how he thought Rick would feel. It was all wrong, and he was going to make that abundantly clear. So clear that the kid couldn’t doubt or deny it ever again. 

Rick grinned as he leaned down and kissed him, thinking that this was the fastest way he could make his intentions as crystal clear as possible. Morty tensed, completely paralyzed as Rick worked his mouth open with his own. But after a moment, he was melting into the kiss, pressing back against Rick almost desperately as he shyly battled against him with his tongue. He could feel him practically turn to putty against him for a few moments, completely losing himself in the kiss. But then he tensed again, as if his senses suddenly returned to him. 

“No.” Morty turned his head to the side to break the kiss and pushed Rick back to arms length. He stared to the side, breathing heavily, and his face darkened several shades of red. “T-this can’t be real. Y-y-you’re messing with me. This is a s-stupid joke you’re playing on me.”

Rick growled lowly and pushed closer, pressing a hand into Morty’s crotch. Morty sucked in a stuttered gasp and practically jumped out of his own skin. He was already half hard in his pants, just from the kiss. “Does this feel _fake_ to you, Morty? Like this is a _joke_ to me?” He whispered huskily in his ear as he leaned closer. “Or do you need more proof?” He massaged Morty’s dick through his pants, feeling him harden more at his touch. 

“R-Rick.” Morty placed his hand over Rick’s, making him stop. He panted heavily for a moment before speaking again. “Rick... c-can—can you just wait a moment?”

Rick pulled his hand back and let it fall to the workbench once again. He pulled back enough to look Morty in the eyes, but he definitely wasn’t going to set the kid free yet. He still had some points to get across. He gave Morty a serious look, ready to listen to what he had to say, now that he was actually talking to him. 

Morty squirmed and awkwardly tried to hide his boner by pulling his shirt down over the front of his pants. He was back to avoiding Rick’s eyes, and the scientist felt a little disappointed by it. 

“Y-you’re...” Morty stuttered. “You don’t... hate me?”

Rick scoffed, barely holding back an exaggerated eye roll. “No, Morty. I don’t hate you. I... don’t think I could hate you if I tried.”

Morty didn’t answer. He only fidgeted with his hands awkwardly. 

Rick shifted slightly on his feet, leaning in a little closer. “Why did you think I’d hate you for this?”

Morty looked at him again, holding his gaze. “Because...” He hesitated before continuing, like he was trying to find the right explanation. “I-I don’t know, it just... it seems like the proper response, c-considering... considering our r-relation... to each other. Y-you... you’re my grandpa. You must have already _read_ about it, though.” He said the last part a little bitterly. 

Rick couldn’t help but let out a laugh, ignoring the reference to the journal for the time being. He’d make up for reading Morty’s journal later. “C’mon,” He nudged Morty playfully. “Really? Morty, whUGHen have you ever known me to be normal? And crushes... t-they’re normal. F-for the most part, anyway. It’s a little weird, but y-you didn’t know me when you were little.”

Morty frowned, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t...” He paused. “What does knowing you when I was younger have to do with anything?”

“It’s some kind of science thing.” Rick said. “Y-you know, like the Westermarck effect? That’s what makes you not want to fuck your mom. Cause, y-y’know, she took care of you as a baby. It’s basically the opposite of sexual imprinting.”

Morty visibly cringed. “Please never put that image of my mom in my head again, especially not while I’m ha—...” The brunette trailed off, unable to get the words out of his mouth. His face darkened slightly, the blush reaching all the way to his ears. “Oh, god.”

Rick chuckled, leaning in even closer to Morty. “Basically what I’m trying to say is that your little crush on me might be weird, but it’s not _that_ weird. P-plus, Earth is like the only place that _cares_ about this kind of shit. Incest is all over the universe. And besides, it’s not like other Ricks and Mortys haven’t done this before.”

Morty’s eyes widened. “Wait, _what?”_ His face seemed to get even more flustered at that, and be shifted awkwardly on the workbench. Rick grabbed his hips again, unwilling to let him squirm away. “What the fuck? T-this... how many Ricks and Mortys already do this?!”

“A lot, Morty.” Rick said, amused by Morty’s shock as he leaned in even closer, his breath dusting over the brunette’s face. He was done playing around with the kid. “If you go to the citadel nowadays, I can guarantee you’ll see at least a few Rick and Morty couples walking around right off the bat.”

“No fucking way.” Morty shook his head, leaning away slightly from Rick. “No way. Y-y-you’ve got to be lying.”

“I’m not.” Rick insisted. “If y-you ask me, you’re pretty late to the party. Many Mortys figured this shit out when they were fourteen and got with their Ricks. And you’re what, seventeen? Almost eighteen now?”

“Oh my god.” Was all Morty could say, still shaking his head. 

Rick grabbed Morty’s face and pulled the teen into another kiss, this one much more brief than the last. Morty stared up at him, completely shocked and flustered. 

“Y-you said...” Morty swallowed nervously, his atom’s apple bobbing slightly. “Y-you read... you read my journal...”

“Yes.” Rick said. 

“T-then you know... y-y-you know how I feel.” Morty said, leaning forward slightly with a serious look in his eyes. His hands seemed to unconsciously drag down the man’s arms. “Y-you know that— that this isn’t just a sex thing that I feel, right?”

“Yes.” Rick said again, looking down at Morty’s lips. 

“I c-can’t do this... if t-this is just a sex thing for you, Rick.” Morty said, but his voice was getting quieter by the second. He was noticing where Rick’s eyes were wandering, and he couldn’t help but lock his own eyes on Rick’s lips. “I-I can’t picture y-you wanting anything past sex, R-Rick... so you gotta tell me what this is...”

Rick leaned closer, his mouth hovering just centimeters away from Morty’s as he growled possessively. “It’s not just a sex thing, M-Morty. I’m yours if you’re mine.”

Morty was the one to bridge the gap between them this time, pressing their mouths together almost desperately, like Rick was his first breath of air in years. This kiss lasts far longer than their first, and it quickly grows more heated, Morty’s mouth opening pliantly against Rick’s. 

Rick’s fingers curled into Morty’s hair, pulling him closer. Morty’s small moan of pleasure traveled all the way down to Rick’s cock, which was quickly making his slacks feel tight. This was the best idea he’d had in a long while. 

Rick trailed his kissing down the side of Morty’s neck, enjoying the soft whimpers of pleasure as he explored the brunette’s body with his hands. Morty gasped when Rick sucked at a particularly sensitive spot behind Morty’s ear. Rick grinned and captured Morty’s earlobe lightly between his teeth and whispered, “You like that?”

“Y-yeah,” Morty groaned. “Yeah, I-I like it, Rick.”

Rick pushed his hands up Morty’s shirt, backing up for a moment so he could pull it up over Morty’s head. “Let’s see what else you like.”

He moved his kissing down to the column of Morty’s neck, lightly nipping him in some places and sucking in others, leaving subtle red marks in his wake. Morty grabbed his shoulders, squirming against Rick in pleasure as he let out small gasps and groans of pleasure. Rick wrapped his lips around one of Morty’s nipples, rolling the peaked nub between his teeth.

Morty gasped and arched his back, hands grasping tighter at his shoulders like he was trying to pull him closer. He fumbled slightly as he pushed his hands under Rick’s lab coat, trying to yank it off his shoulders. Rick got the hint and shrugged the coat off as Morty moved on to his sweater, tugging it up out from under the waste-band of his slacks and pushing his hands up underneath it so he could spread his hands over the expanse of Rick’s stomach. 

Rick chuckled as he pulled his sweater off, and Morty’s hands wandered over him, almost as if he were fascinated by each and every cell in the man’s body. Rick grabbed Morty’s hands and guided them up to his sternum where one of his scars were— the one that Morty had the most interest in, according to his journal.

Morty’s breath hitched slightly as Rick guided his fingers over the slightly and barely noticeably raised and ashen-colored skin. 

“I got this scar on Elixabris, one of the planets the Freedom Fighters fought on.” Rick said, recalling the memory almost fondly. “Some of the natives got confused, tried to shoot Bird with an arrow. I-I jumped in front of him. It didn’t get too far into me, since the shooter was so far away, but it did leave a scar.”

Rick let his hands fall away and he let Morty feel him up on his own. His touch was light and almost ticklish. Not wanting to squirm embarrassingly at the touch, Rick reached forward and grabbed Morty’s ass, pulling him forward so that their crotches presses together. He reached for Morty’s jeans and unbuttoned them, yanking them down as far as he could before Morty stopped him by putting his arms around Rick’s neck, and he pulled him close so that he could speak in his ear. 

“R-Rick... um... h-how far is this gonna go?” He asked, voice barely a whisper as he panted in Rick’s ear. 

Rick could hear the slight insecurity in Morty’s voice. He wasn’t going to make the kid do anything he didn’t want to. Rick was fine with just making out and feeling each other up, if that’s all Morty wanted to do for now. “However far you want, Morty.”

“I, um...” Morty bit his lip. “Not all the way... not yet... I haven’t... _y’know,_ before...”

Rick found it amusing how Morty refused to use the word ‘sex’ in this moment. Rick grinned. “So there’ll be a next time?” He teased.

Morty buried his face into Rick’s shoulder. “O-only if you want to...”

“Of course I do, Morty.” Rick resumed pulling at Morty’s pants and underwear until his cock sprang free. Morty clung to Rick tighter, like he was too embarrassed to look down at himself. They weren’t exactly unfamiliar with seeing each other naked, but they’d never seen each other naked in _this_ way. 

Rick wrapped his hand around Morty’s member and squeezed, giving a few experimental tugs, and Morty groaned. “R- _Rick_...” His hips jerked involuntarily, and Rick slightly increased the speed of his strokes, delighting in the soft, breathy mewls of pleasure that fell from the teen’s mouth. 

“You sound so good, Morty...” Rick groaned in his ear. His own cock was straining against his slacks, and he didn’t know how much longer he could let it go on without some attention. 

Rick paused momentarily to unzip his pants and pull out his cock. Morty gasped at the sight of him as Rick pressed himself forward, brushing both of their erections together. Morty’s dick was just barely impressive considering his age, but next to Rick’s it looked small. Morty’s hips moved for a moment, grinding them together. Rick groaned and wrapped his hand around both of their cocks, pumping them both in a fast rhythm in time with Morty’s subtle thrusts. 

After a few moments, Morty’s hand shyly joined Rick’s and helped to guide the pressure and speed. Morty began kissing at Rick’s neck, hot and wet as he sucked and licked and grazed his teeth wherever he could reach him. 

And then suddenly Morty comes with a pleasured cry, and he sank his teeth into the place where Rick’s shoulder met his neck. The sound of Morty coming and the pain of the bite was enough to send Rick over the edge as well, and he let out a groan of the brunette’s name. He tried not to think about how fucking quickly he’d come just now. He hadn’t come that quick since he was a teenager. 

Morty slumped bonelessly against Rick, breathing heavily. Rick curled his fingers into Morty’s hair, lightly running his fingers through those auburn curls. A few long moments pass before Morty catches his breath enough to move, and he pulled back.

He smiled sheepishly at Rick for a moment before he looks down and cringes at the mess still sticking to both of their chests. Rick reached behind him and grabbed a spare towel off the shelf to clean them up. As he’s wiping away the mess from Morty’s stomach, he feels the brunette gently prod at the bite mark left on Rick’s shoulder with light, careful fingers. 

When Rick paused to look at him, Morty froze for a moment before pulling his hand back in embarrassment. He looked up at Rick sheepishly, looking almost guilty. “S-Sorry... I s-should have asked if-if that was okay...”

Rick shrugged. “It’s fine, Morty.” And then he grinned, eyes darting down to the boy’s chest for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “Besides, I left a few marks of my own.” 

Morty blushed and looked down at his chest, which had several red marks— a couple of which were already turning a little purple. “Geez, Rick...” He whispered, but he didn’t sound upset. 

Rick rolled his eyes in amusement as he crouched down to grab Morty’s underwear, which he gave to the kid before crouching back down for his lab coat to search through the pockets. Morty hopped down from the workbench and gratefully pulled on his underwear.

“W-what’re you looking for, Rick?” Morty asked. 

After a few moments of searching through his lab coat, Rick pulled out his portal gun with a grin. “This.” He said, and then began twisting at the dial to put in the coordinates. He shot a portal into the middle of the room. 

Morty reached down to grab his shirt and pants, but Rick stopped him by swooping him off his feet— _literally_ — and carrying him bridal style through the portal. The teen looked a little panicked, and he clung to Rick’s shoulders in shock. 

On the other side of the portal, Morty was immediately dropped from Rick’s arms and he yelped, only to sigh in relief when he landed on a bed. It was his own bed, in his own room, he recognized as his eyes took the place in. 

Rick quickly took off his shoes and pants before he crawled over Morty on the and laid down on the bed. He guided Morty to lay on top of him as he pulled up the blankets. Morty hummed contently as he gratefully curled into Rick’s side, wrapping one arm over the man’s bare chest. He breathed deeply for a moment as he relax. But after a few moments he began to frown. 

“Rick?”

Rick hummed, signaling for him to continue. 

“I’m still really mad at you for reading my journal without my permission.” Morty said quietly. “W-What you did was not okay... and it hurt me... a lot.”

Rick rubbed his hand up and down Morty’s back apologetically, feeling genuinely guilty and sorry for what he did. He still didn’t regret it (they were here now, after all), but he knew it hurt Morty. And things never sat well with Rick when he ended up hurting Morty in a way like this. 

“I know.” Rick said very evenly, trying to convey how genuine he was. He was once again letting down those walls, letting Morty take a peak inside to his deepest truest self. “And I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise, Morty.”

He was going to do a lot to make up for it, even if Morty forgave him easily. He knew how bad this invasion of privacy had been, and he couldn’t blame the kid for being upset with him. He’d be doing a lot of extravagant favors for the kid for at least a few weeks. At least until he eased both Morty, and his own guilty conscience. 

Morty curled further into Rick, wrapping a leg around him under the blankets. Rick was going to have to get used to Morty being a little clingy. “I-I’m sorry, too.” He said. “For e-everything I said yesterday... a-and for avoiding you...”

“I forgive you.” Rick said. He forgave Morty the moment he read how he truly felt. “Just don’t do it again.”

“I-I won’t.” 

Several minutes passed as the two of them dozed between the thin line of consciousness and unconscious, the journal still floating in the garage all but forgotten. But there was something else on the brunette’s mind, and he couldn’t let it go unspoken. 

“Rick?”

Rick hummed again. 

Morty hesitated for a moment as he gathered his courage. “I-I love you.”

Rick brushed some of Morty’s hair back with his fingers before leaning down to plant a soft kiss on Morty’s lips. He hesitated for a long moment after that, but he eventually managed to say it. “I love you too, Morty.”

Morty nuzzled his face into Rick’s chest and smiled. No more words were said between them as they both finally drifted off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Extra**
> 
> The next page on Morty’s diary: 
> 
> OH MY GOD. Rick fucking READ MY ENTIRE JOURNAL. Seriously, he read it from cover to cover. I can’t even believe how much of an asshole he is. I’m still so mad at him for doing this. He wanted to know why I was avoiding him, so he somehow found it and read through ALL OF IT. HE’S SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE! I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WHO JUST READS SOMEONES ENTIRE JOURNAL LIKE THAT?! I honestly don’t know how he even knew to fucking look for this book in the damn air vent, but I guess that’s Rick for you! He’s a genius. Good for him, but really bad for me sometimes! And he found out how I feel about him. When I realized my journal was missing, I immediately knew it was him who took it. He saw it yesterday when he barged into my room to ask me why I’d been avoiding him. I should have figured he’d find it and read it. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still pissed but... kind of glad, somehow? Because Rick didn’t react the way I thought he would. He acted like an asshole for a few minutes, but then... he kissed me. At first, I thought it was a joke but he was really serious. He wasn’t just playing some cruel trick on me. We talked for a little bit in the garage, and he told me that he wasn’t mad and that it was okay to feel how I feel. Did you know that there are other Ricks and Mortys are already in relationship?!?! And then we started kissing more... and he told me about his scars and he touched me and he let me touch him. I can feel my face getting hot just thinking about it. It was so amazing. We didn’t have sex, but we had fun, if you know what I mean ;). And afterwards, Rick portaled us to my room and he told me he loved me before we slept the rest of the afternoon. I’m still mad at him for reading my journal... there’s a lot of personal things in here. But I would probably still be avoiding Rick if he hadn’t read it, so I can’t complain so much. I really love him, and honestly I’m just so glad to have him back at this point. He also apologized for reading my journal... and Rick doesn’t apologize ever... so I know I’ll be able to forgive him soon. He told me he loves me... ahhh it makes me feel that butterfly thing I was talking about before, except it’s not bad anymore. It’s good, and I’m so happy. 
> 
> I really love him, and I’m glad he loves me, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! The next chapter should be out soon! <3


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